These notable quotables of Anthony's questions were just too good to pass up.
A few weeks ago Anthony and I were in a public restroom. I have now learned to let him go to the bathroom first and then I will have just enough time to go while he's pulling up his underwear and pants if I keep him talking and distracted. (Yes, I learned this the hard way. I'm sorry to the countless strangers who got the full surprise...)
The conversation went something like this:
A: How many times mom do I have to tell you to push down your penis?
Me: Anthony, mommy doesn't have a penis.
Of course he immediately gets a puzzled look on his face and forgoes pulling up anything so he can go in for a closer inspection.
A: Well what do you have? How do you go potty?
Do I tell him the truth?
Can I really use the v word with him?
After more questions and a face getting even closer to inspect I decide to tell him the truth.
Me: Anthony, mommy doesn't have a penis. I have a vagina.
A: (Nice and LOUD) A GINA? WHAT'S A GINA?
Of course the question didn't stop there. It continued while we washed our hands and headed back to the waiting room. Lovely.
Fast forward to this morning and there's another potty story that has me laughing hours after the fact.
Once again we were in the bathroom. Privacy is something that was thrown out the window years ago. If I tell him I need some privacy he typically will shut the door and then it will be the three of us (not Mark --- Zoey) in the bathroom. However, this is much better than his past practice of sitting on my lap every time I would go to the bathroom. So it comes to no surprise that once again the three of us were in the bathroom this morning and inspector Anthony was ready to work.
As I was washing my hands I could see that Anthony was very concerned and had a question on his mind. I could see he was really thinking about this and trying to figure out how it was even possible. Then with complete seriousness he asked me, "Mom, why did your poop melt?"
Oh! For! Funny!
Clearly he's too young to understand words like:
Ulcerative Colitis
Chronic illness
Removal of colon
Construction of J-Pouch
Restricted diet
So I just smiled and laughed and started another day of being The Inspector's mommy.
5 comments:
oh the joys of a toddler and poo. Best to just laugh and go with it. I say stick with the "correct" terms and not the "proper" ones. Nobody is going to make fun of him for saying vagina when he is 20, but they might if he calls it something else.
Hilarious!!!! Thanks for the morning laugh!
I beyond love those stories. Kids truly say the darndest things.
Sometime ask Meade about the Paul, potty and Ginas.
Oh my god Tonja, that is too funny!! I am laughing out loud!! Since privacy is something unknown at our house, Isla too has noticed that mommy and daddy have "different" bottoms. She also was standing facing the potty one night and told me she wanted to go potty like daddy. She also tried to explain to me how daddy was different but didn't have the words so she was trying to show me with her hands....way too funny to not laugh!!!
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