Millennium

This is a
must read

trilogy.

Wow!
I want more Salander and Blomkquist.
Check it out and get hooked too.

We'll Always Remember

Grandma Jean
March 31, 1925 - November 27, 2010

Jean P. Pluth, age 85, of Chisholm, died on Saturday, November 27, 2010 at Heritage Manor Health Care Center in Chisholm. She was born in Onamia, MN on March 31, 1925 to Emmett and Elva (Daniels) Walls. She graduated from Klamoth Falls, Oregon and married Leonard M. Pluth. Jean was a long time Chisholm resident who loved spending time with her family. To her grandchildren she was not only their grandmother but their friend and confidant. She was an avid reader and enjoyed cooking.

Jean is survived by daughters, Carol (Marv) Hanson of Grand Rapids, Barbara (John) Steenberg of Andover, MN, and Debra (Joe) Hanson of Anoka, MN, eight grandchildren, Dana Maki, Mark (Tonja) Hanson, Brian (Tiffany) Maki, Brandon (Sara) Maki, Jami Hanson, Christina (Todd) Buckingham, Joe (Stephanie) Hanson, and Aaron Hanson, five great-grandchildren, sister, Verna Johnson, brother, Doug (Peg) Walls, numerous nieces and nephews.

She is preceded in death by her husband Leonard, grandson, Matthew, three sisters and four brothers.

The matriarch of the Pluth family died on Friday. Although I am sadden by the loss of our grandma, I find myself giving thanks and celebrating her life. My only wish is that there would have been more time --- a decade together was just too short. I want more visits, more conversations and my own cooking lessons on how to make her homemade ravioli, pasties, and patetsa; I want Anthony to spend more time in Chisholm with his great-grandma.
Thank you, Grandma Jean, for your life and for this family. It's because of you that we have two wonderful aunts, Barb and Debbie, who we love dearly. It's also because of you that I have an amazing mother-in-law who loves, cares, gives and is such an important part of our lives. My heart goes out to all three of them as they grieve and miss your presence in their lives. Along with uncles and grandkids and great-grandkids this family has grown and is such a joy to be a part of. I promise that your legacy will live on throughout the years as we continue to grow and come together as a family to celebrate. Your memory and presence will always be there with us; we'll always remember and we'll always love you.

Miss Me, But Let Me Go
Author Unknown
When I come to the end of the day,
And the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love we once shared---
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all part of the maker's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds---
Miss me, but let me go.

Giving Thanks

I love this holiday.

Being thankful and thanking others is
right up my alley.

Every year I like to ask others what they are thankful for
when we sit down to eat.

Every year my family groans at me,
Mark gives me that look
and it really never takes off.

This year I'm asking you Hat Trick readers and stalkers.

What are you thankful for?

Whether it's BIG or small do share!

Picasso the Dog

As soon as we got a box full of Anthony's baby photos and memorabilia I knew I wanted to do something special with it, but I had no clue what that should be. The pictures were just too precious and meaningful to sit in a box only to be visited every once in awhile. Almost immediately I enlisted the help of a very talented co-worker and friend, Tracy.
(Shameless plug: You should check her out on etsy.com. Her site - Picasso the Dog - has just recently been started, but believe me she can do just about anything when it comes to party planning, decorating, and creating something memorable & special.)
Today she unveiled her creation in tribute to Baby A and I'm in love. It's like nothing I could have dreamed up or executed when putting together. It's absolutely wonderful and something we will always treasure.
Thank you so much, Tracy, for sharing your unbelievable creative talents.

We

Today has been great.
Really great.
It's been a day full of reflection and learning;
a day of togetherness.
Multiple times I've looked at my life partner
and been filled with an enormous gratitude
that I get to journey beside him.
Coming together all those years ago wasn't coincidental.
It was filled with a purpose and promise and hope.
It's what He had planned collectively for us.
TOGETHER
we do make a great team.
TOGETHER
we love a hurt-filled little boy
whose experienced unspeakable trauma.
TOGETHER
as a FAMILY we will get through this.
Today I feel like we're on the right path.
Today I feel validated.
I've learned that I need to extend some much needed
grace to myself.
I don't have to be perfect.
I don't have to know all of the answers.
It's okay if I completely mess up an entire situation.
I'm not ruining him.
A is getting better everyday because of the collective we.
It is through this we --- our family ---
that attachment is being made.
He's rewiring how to
love,
trust,
accept,
live
and be a part of the we that we're offering him everyday.

My desire is to focus on this - the positive -
and to refrain from all of the factors I cannot control ---
the worries, the fears, and negativity.
It was suggested today that I
stop
to
enjoy
the
scenic overlook
of our lives right now.
I need to do that.
I want to do that.
To see and be reminded of all of the good would
be another validation of the work that has and is being done.
Everyday is an adventure
of healing and celebrating our togetherness as a family.
The all important we for Anthony.

On Johnson Farm

Anthony's four year pictures
by Manda's Shots.

Mr. Moose

Anthony's bud,
Rylan Richard,
the Oracle,
turned FIVE this past week!

Ry is absolutely the sweetest little BIG boy.
He's the one who likes to read,
thinks of others
and wants so badly to be a big brother again.
Ry always exclaims he wants to be a daddy when he grows up
while Cam and A go back and forth between fireman and cop.
Ry is a gentle spirit
who exudes kindness towards others
and has a love that is pure & visible.
I absolutely enjoy watching him open his gifts every year.
He wants to read the card.
He wants to enjoy the gift that was opened.
Then he always takes the time to give hugs and say thank you
before going onto the next one.
"Mr. Moose" is a sweetheart and a VIP in our lives.
We love you, Ry.

Oh, the joy!

It's finally here!

Taking a peek

Absolute joy to finally be seeing snow

He's a boy --- of course he needs to touch it

The next logical step is to eat it, right?

We're getting in a quick breakfast and then we're going to be testing out those new snow pants and Lightning McQueen boots that light up. I am loving the excitement that always comes with the first snowfall.
LET IT SNOW!

What a difference a day makes!

Mark and I just never know what type of day we're going to have with Anthony. A day that starts off well can go quickly downhill and never recover or we can be having fun one moment until his mood shifts and we're dealing with a storm of tantrums. It's definitely a different style of parenting that requires patience with the unpredictability and constant knowledge that his reactions are a direct correlation to what has happen in his past and how he's trying to cope/deal with it. It's not personal and we need to be mindful of that even when he's saying the most hurtful comments. Parenting this roller coaster of emotions requires a tag team effort and most days are draining at best even with an amazing teammate by my side.
Tonight was a rare, beautiful exception. It was a wonderful reminder that I LOVE parenting. Too many times I get so wrapped up in the struggles that I can't even fully enjoy the fact that being a mom is so wonderful.
Tonight our child was laughing, having fun, engaging in different activities, listening and following directions and there were no tantrums or mean comments or actions.
Again, it was wonderful.
A definite night of hope with the desire for more.
A clear vision of what we are working towards.
A reason to give thanks.

Anthony loved the package Grandma Kathy sent.

He was quite the helper in the kitchen!
We had fun trying out a new muffin recipe.

Toys R' Us Great Big Book of Christmas is this little boy's dream.
There's so many decision to be made when it comes to toys Santa could bring. The best part is that he sat at the table and ate with us. WOW!

After supper A did every puzzle in the house with no frustration.
Amazing.
And fun!

We even got to play a game of Memory without a meltdown.
Again, amazing and fun!

Here's the beautiful, dirty face I love.
Tonight I am thankful to be given such a fun and laughter filled night full of joy and time spent together as a family. It's just what we needed.

Thank you, Target

We love buying costumes when they are 90% off!
It's been a fun week of dressing up for Anthony
especially when friends come over to play.

First Teddy Bear

I love that
AJS
became
AJH;
this is another tangible reminder
of how wonderful the process of
adoption
truly is.
How lucky we are to have been
given the gift of
Anthony.

Fort Hanson

The bathtub Army battle was in full force last night.
This momma loved seeing all of the fun and SMILES!

Johnson Deer Shack

I learned a long time ago that I would be forgoing the maternal side of my family's tradition of deer hunting. I'm really good at watching deer in the woods or hitting them with my car, but I'm absolutely awful when it comes to pulling the trigger with the intentions of killing an animal. That point was made abundantly clear my second year of hunting when my mom shot and killed a deer that I had been watching for almost an hour. That day I watched a beautiful animal bleed out and die; I knew instantaneously that although I love venison, I could never be the one to actually end a life. My hunting days were over.

However, the experience of the hunt is live and well with my sister's stories/escapades of searching out that turdy point buck. Every year she hunts and every year there are bound to be great stories to share from the Johnson Deer Shack. This year has proved to be no exception. Last night I read her blog post and found myself laughing hysterically out loud and then tearing up by the end. Her writing totally encapsulates the love of the hunt and who she is.

Who can sleep? So anxious to get up and get out in the deer stand - the excitement buzzes in my head as the hands on the clock slowly click by. The alarm clock sounds while the sun not showing through yet and I'm up. I've got my hot water warming for my thermos and my hand warmers being taken out of their packets awaiting to warm my hands in just a matter of minutes. I bundle up, all my lucky clothes - long socks, 7th grade sweat shirt and long johns, plenty warm for the adventure I'm looking to encounter.

To read the rest of "It's in the air...." go to Team Tuttle's Blog by clicking here.

Anthony James

Before this week our first and only "baby" photo of Anthony was this one taken while he was in foster care right before he came home. This week, though, we got a package from Cynthia that touched this sentimental momma to her core.

I never thought I would see these photos of Anthony. One look at this ultra sound picture was enough to reduce me to tears and be filled with thanks for a gift that didn't have to be given. Of course I went right into a claiming narrative with A showing him the picture of himself and letting him know how much I wish it could have been me carrying and delivering him into this world.

Anthony James
Born on August 26, 2006
at 6:48pm
weighing 6 pounds and 8 ounces
19 inches long

Two months old

This is the photo that Anthony has really connected with for whatever reason. Ever since he saw it he's been carrying it around and looking at it constantly. It's the first thing he goes to in the morning and the photo even needs to be propped up so he can see it when he takes a bath. Tonight he played with his toys, but always made sure to have this close by. Mark and I just wish we knew what he was thinking and feeling. Hopefully one day he'll be able to vocalize all of his thoughts.

Thank you, Cynthia, for giving so selflessly a wonderful piece of Anthony's past. We so appreciate it.

The Box

This box opened a door to the past, which left me in tears of joy, sadness, happiness and, ultimately, completely grateful. A gift was given so selflessly that it leaves me filled with so many emotions, but overwhelmingly thankful to the gracious giver.
It's another piece of the story; a piece I wish I could have had from the very beginning.
His story.
Anthony.

Birthday Surprise

Celebrating a birthday with gifts in November was quite the fun surprise for Anthony tonight. He so enjoyed opening all of the gifts and getting some playing time in before bed time.
While I was rocking him I asked what was his favorite gift.
His reply?
Everything, momma. I liked everything birthmommy sent.
Thank you, Cynthia, for the thoughtful gifts and making our little boy's day. We had fun celebrating Anthony's birth once again.