Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day


from Anthony and Baby Bear.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Basking in the Good

This morning another I love you came out of A's mouth,
which caused us both to smile.

Then when picking up from daycare
he came running when he saw our spaceship
and gave me a huge hug and kiss.
That never happens...

Again, my heart is filled with HOPE.
RAD, SPD, ODD...
None of that matters when there's
love,
understanding,
stability,
consistency
and the constant support of a family.
Right?!

“Love comes to those who still hope

even though they've been disappointed,

to those who still believe

even though they've been betrayed,

to those who still love

even though they've been hurt before.”

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Baby Gap Model?

Miss Adele Rufaro
has style, personality, spunk, and is one busy girl on the go.
She could totally be a little model
IF you could get her to sit still...



She's even beautiful "wearing" blue marker!

Cam-a-Roo





Happy birthday, Cam-a-roo!
We loved celebrating with you today
and
CANNOT BELIEVE
you'll be turning
FOUR
tomorrow.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The Sweetest Words

Yesterday morning was another rough one. Anthony was refusing to be cooperative and even though Baby Bear was dressed and ready to go, he was unwilling. I thought for sure this would be the day he showed up at daycare dressed in only his underwear...
FINALLY we were buckled in the van,
our smiles were packed and we were ready to go.
As we were backing out of the garage I heard the sweetest words:
"Momma, I love you."
Immediately, I stopped our spaceship and major tears formed in my eyes. This momma has only heard this come out of her beautiful boy's mouth, unprompted and unsolicited, two other times in the past three years. To hear it again and see the beaming smile on his face felt absolutely wonderful.
It made my day!

That being said, last night before bed was awful. He was calling daddy mean names and hitting me; throughout all of this he was smiling and feeling no remorse that his actions were hurting others. There were lots of tears and once again I went into my Supernanny/Nanny 911 role as a mom, which is exhausting and frustrating, but, I believe, needed. When he finally calmed down we were able to snuggle together before bed and talk. As always, this four and a half year old astounds me with his thought process.

M: Do you know that momma and daddy love you?
A: shakes his head yes
M: Do you know that we would never leave you --- that families stay together?
A: blank stare
M: Are you worried that momma and daddy will leave someday?
A: slowly shakes his head yes
M: Have you been hurt and left behind before?
A: shakes his head yes

Even though it's been three years of being a family it's clear that Anthony harbors a lot of pain and worries. I believe it's those pain and worries that cause him to lash out and do things to us that he really doesn't want to do. His brain is wired to expect a certain outcome even though the situation around him has changed.

I called Mark into the bedroom and together we reassured A and let him know that our intentions are to always love him and always be together as a family. Regardless of what happens, we will be there. Our love and devotion will persist. We won't give up.

All of that reassurance helped him to become completely calm so he could "melt" into my arms and drift off to sleep in a peaceful manner. As A slept I continued to rock him and give thanks. It would be easy to have the bad overshadow the good. It would be easy to forget about the I love you in the morning and be filled with frustration with how the day ended. Instead I gave thanks for another day of being a family, for another sweet I love you to keep this momma going and for the hope that is building inside of me.

Everyday matters.
Every I love you is a gift.
Yesterday was a good reminder that even though
chaos still lingers
there's so much hope and promise too.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Introducing...

the newest member of the Hanson family --- Baby Bear!

Baby Bear showed up Sunday morning in Anthony's arms and has been by his side constantly since then. This morning I asked A if he felt like wearing his Star Wars or football shirt. He promptly responded that he would be wearing Star Wars and Baby Bear would like to wear the football shirt. Then he asked me if I could get Baby Bear dressed while he got himself dressed.
Baby Bear now eats with us at the supper table, rides to Renae's house in the morning, reads books with us at night, does puzzles and watches Sponge Bob with A, takes a bath in the sink while A takes a bath in the tub, etc. etc. etc.
Yesterday he declared to me that he was a big brover and that Baby Bear was his little brover. He then talked to his "brover" the rest of the ride home about school and Renae's house and the friends he likes to play with. The cutest part is that his little brover talks back to him in this tiny voice that you can't help but smile at.
CLEARLY all the babies that are being born (Amalia, Andersyn, Baby Feierabend as well as other babies at daycare) and friends who are becoming older siblings (like Ry and Cam) are influencing Anthony and what he would like.
BABY #2?!
A sibling for A?!
I think we'll stick with Baby Bear for now! :)

So excited to be home and hanging out with his brover
Time for jammies and books
Bedtime
night night boys

Cake batter is so good...

if a little boy
can stay
awake long
enough to enjoy it.